Nice Guy™ Inc.

His mother told him, "Someday you will be a man,
And you will be the leader of a big old band.
Many people coming from miles around,
To hear you play your music when the sun go down.
Maybe someday your name will be in lights,
Saying Johnny B. Goode tonight."

That wasn’t just some filler oldies song meant for a loud start (Author’s Note: Actually, it is the very famous ‘Johnny B. Goode’ from the legend Chuck Berry). My mama also told me, “Tannu be good, always.” What she didn’t tell me are the idiosyncrasies of a nice boy; one of them being: “Nice guys finish last”. True. Period

All around me are familiar faces
worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Nothing much here. Kind of describes my current days precisely to the fact whether you are dead or alive.

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

Oh my, this is kind of funny. This song is wholly dictating my life these days it seems. It is like the words are literally being transcribed onto my life’s motion picture. The first two lines give away shit loads of information, about series of events currently happening around me, in the most compact manner possible. I’m not onto it a single word; that is not why I wrote this piece of crap. The story makes sense to me from the penultimate line where I perfectly do justice to my role of being a … well, a nice boy. I know proclaiming to be a ‘nice guy’ will require you to render your justification to be one. Well, that is just the paradox we got to live with. Welcome to the cruel world. Ah just noticed, the beginning of my paragraph is exactly same as the commencing line of the next one. Did I mention something about the flow of my life!

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying 
Are the best I've ever had

Women are only attracted to men who behave like men; you know like rough and tough, survival-of-the-fittest men. She doesn’t care for the guys who won’t ever dare to break her heart or will never ever think of taking advantage of her. For her, you become one-of-us, her souvenir from the opposite sex. She won’t go for the quiet you, oh no, my friend, she wants the loud rash jerks who won’t give her the respect she deserves and will treat her like a, well, bitch. You, being the ‘nice guy’ will never get the boyfriend postage because she only thinks of you as a ‘nice guy’ which you are. You’ll always be her friend, ever climbing on her ladder of friendship for eternity. The lucky ones to survive this limbo will acquire the title of being the ‘backup plan’. The unlucky ones to have survived hardships of this waitlist only see the light of the day to be heartbroken.

I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very, mad world, mad world

It’s pretty hard to play the role of a ‘nice guy’ responsibly after the realization that you are one and that you aren’t going sailing any up in life. The satisfaction you derived earlier from carrying those polite DNA is lost in the egocentric assessment of input and output when you grasp what being a badass gets you. The water crosses the tolerance line of a nice guy when all he gets is “there is a lucky gal waiting just for you somewhere out there” or “you’re like a lovely brother to me” or worse “you’ll be such a great boyfriend for someone else”. As if their “live and let live” rule was not considerate enough, the ‘bad guy’ has to exploit the “nice guys finish last” aphorism for pity benefits which she obliges thinking of herself as the ‘nice girl’.

The whole point of evolution is inequality. Life isn’t fair. The shadow of death, Black Mamba may be the most fatal creature on earth. While it can prey on anything that lies in front of it, its own death, the hawk, lurks over in the skies far beyond its reach. When it comes to keeping casual acquaintances, the ‘nice guy’ will finish first, but when it comes to confidant friends, he will finish last in your list. When it comes to confrontations, the ‘nice guy’ will probably disarm his counterpart by his composure to finish first, but when it will come down to surviving the fight, our chap would be too morally sugarcoated to get physical and may never finish. When it will come to finding love, ‘the nice guy’ will finish last without any questions asked, but when it is time to keep love, you bet he will finish first. Irony? Life isn’t fair.

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

A nice guy is a ‘nice guy’ only because he is shy enough not to ask you out. He is the child who wants to always feel safe, who is intimidated even to approach a beautiful woman. He needs to learn not to be insecure in handling criticism. He needs it to be sung to him that life is not to be taken too seriously and that there is nothing dreadful in putting your own wishes ahead of others. He just needs to be loved.

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

The ‘nice guy’ was always the nice guy. He never had the option to turn into a badass nor could he ever. He was always present there. He always wanted things to be done perfectly without anyone else feeling any burden. Once out in this mad kingdom where one only worships the fake, he greeted everyone with his weak-smile ugly mask. He quietly hummed and went along with you because he thought it was impolite to stop others from taking advantage. He was the only one left wondering at times to how a woman could be turned on by such negative remarks. He had always been the one who spent one full hour begging his wish was also fulfilled after he had spent the previous twenty three being trotted upon. And at the end of the day, he will still be the ‘nice guy’ and continue searching for someone who will understand him. Till then ...

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very, mad world, mad world
Enlarge your world, mad world

(Author’s Note: Spread all over this entry, you went through the lyrics of this song ‘Mad World’ by Tears for Fears and illustriously cover by Gary Jules. This is a no-profit personal blog of a ‘nice guy’. No accusations of plagiarism please! Ya, so back to the point, the original version is your party CD mix song when driving on a fast highway in the afternoon because they say not to mix drinking with driving. It has got these moving beats and funky background sounds. But, the real prize is the cover by a no-star-before-its-release, Gary Jules. You ought to get high up in the sky and deep down in guilt in the same line. A lone boozer’s best man. Nothing can subliminally fuck your mind more than this adaptation.)

PS: Remaining the ‘nice guy’ is not always a nicer thing to do. Turning into an ego-inflated badass can never work for such a guy for it will just make him an insecure jerk. This site can enlighten you more: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml