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Yawn ... pretty boring chap. Slow poke. Tube light. Dumb ass. Negative creep. At a loss of words, always. Blah blah blah! Dreamer. Period

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Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Sunday, April 5, 2015

DISCOVERY IS IN INVENTION OF NEW EYES

Feelings are feelings, someplace inside you at first.
Words, tags and judgments get attached to them much later.

Prologue

16.

I mentalated I had fallen in love. Fallen indeed I had, but love was nowhere is sight. On being asked what l mean by love, this is the best I've managed so far. Love is an evasive delusion that on reciprocation dilutes to a shared illusion.

16.

Number of military wives as in the political satire 16 Military Wives by The Decemberists. Their songs are my go-to imaginary universe to give language to my rock-bottom emotions.

16.

Stands for wholeness and is a number of perfect measures. 4x4. 4^2. 2^4.

16.

Number of personality types.

Yin and Yang


There is a vast sea of well known literature on the psychological classification of individuals. In a layman's term, you can see folks brushing and crashing around every day as either behaving as a certain type or showing certain traits. The curious case of theories is that they are defined to explain things, things are not defined to perform as the theories describe.

As the tests for these theories interpret me, in terms of personality types, I was a ISFJ earlier, presently a INFJ and heading towards either INTJ or ISFP. In traits, I stand at an interesting spot, interesting enough for me, at the start of the bell curves for Extraversion, Neuroticism and Openness but at the end for Conscientiousness and Agreeableness.

In a nutshell, they explicate that I have opposing qualities in strong quantities. I lean to concur to these results in a different fashion. I have a balance in forces of all domains with a sense of deep-rootedness. There is driving capability to cause disruption and an equal capacity for helter-skelter; but all these potentials remain firmly established, static as if frozen by time. Imagine a world where you could visit the Louvre Museum to seek the alive circling form of the Yin and Yang; then the above representation would be a snapshot of this exhibit in your middle school history books.

la Confluence of Oceanus and Styx

Empaths

Who are they?

Creation's highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments to measure emotions in this grand experiment of life. Gifted listeners, natural givers, spiritually deep and big at heart. They are vastly focused, inter-sufficient and expect not to be micromanaged. They, inherently, are incapable of mentalating anything negative; the environment puts those unpleasant dark dents in them.

There is always room in openness

What they say?

To themselves: "I will win!"
To others: "Okay."

Actions speak louder than words

They hate themselves on having so much to say but no words to put them to. While they are muscular in feeling and channeling emotions, they are inexpressive about this commotion process within. For them, writing is a much easier mode to express themselves as it is a different medium of communication altogether. Think of it as not about avoiding face to face deliveries but rather as the use of a different pathway between your brain and sensory organs. They come out as an altogether different individual in “technological socialization”.

What do they do?

They feel everything; intuition is their sensory agency, sometimes blinded by the rational judgement. They fantasize in being the side-character in everyone's own epic tales of the journey called life. They are the wise Gandalf in Bilbo Baggin's brave fable or the caretaking Alfred to Gotham's superhero, Batman.

Sometimes the tone is stupider than words

They dear certain books, people, movies, pictures, quotes and songs with dumbfounding passion especially when they find a piece of them hidden within.

What not to say to them?

They are often misinterpreted as extroverts due to their passion for people. They can be rightly imagined as sublime emotional sponges. While they seek out for brightness, positivity and warmth in others to flourish themselves, they start to drain out of lifeform when the reciprocation cries aloud of conflict, illness and negativity. They bloat when they binge absorb depression, develop an offensive defense mechanism to protect themselves and they loose weight as they regain their serene harmless state.

Deep secrets are the real secrets

They have unexplainable mood swings that they themselves can't predict. While thoughtful, they can be dark and bitingly sarcastic if irked or sent over the edge. Their outbursts are short-lived, usually moments in length; they lock themselves away for long, not afraid of confronting others but shocked on facing themselves. To them, fear is the only emotion to be feared of.

Who do they get along with?

They live behind an eminence front; it's easy for everyone to get along with them because they come out as people pleasers but they don't prefer to get going with anyone.

Sometimes they forget they are hiding

I don’t wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts

They are hopeless romantics. They idealize relationships and love and hold themselves and their partner to an exceptionally high standard. They fall in love easily, grow into love slowly and take a lifetime to grow out of love. Their body makes falling in love a relatively simple prospect, but their brain strongly exerts rational and long term thinking to be able to make this love grow into something profound and more lasting. They believe in lifetime commitments and they extend it to only those who are first their best friends. They long for strong compassionate relations that are high in commitment and intimacy but are themselves weird in the display of passion because of their inability to express.

Forget about your house of card
And I'll do mine
Forget about your house of card
And I'll do mine

They are not easily moved; doubtful and guarded at first, they pick and pluck their close friends wisely. They most often allow only individuals with introverted feeling and extroverted thinking into their inner circle. But when they open up, they are difficult to contain. They are very considerate and provide an equal platform for their friends to grow. They are usually their friends' confidants and are found delicately helping out their close ones in acute emergencies or in running silly errands.

Epilogue


Life is absolute; it does not require consciousness to validate its existence. At least disconnected human conscious is not open enough to read the simplicity of the complex thing that is life; perhaps that is why humans reach out for wholeness. We are not a universal species; we simply place ourselves in the center of our own spheres. Sometimes all it takes is a new pair of eyes to alter your whole world.

Discovery is the stairway to invent life.

Author's Notes

  1. Individualization is a ongoing reality. We grow into unique individuals based on conditions, experience and behavior modification.
  2. Lines have been shamelessly lifted from a great listen by my all-time favorite band, House of Card by Radiohead.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Nice Guy™ Inc.



His mother told him, "Someday you will be a man,
And you will be the leader of a big old band.
Many people coming from miles around,
To hear you play your music when the sun go down.
Maybe someday your name will be in lights,
Saying Johnny B. Goode tonight."

That wasn’t just some filler oldies song meant for a loud start (Author’s Note: Actually, it is the very famous ‘Johnny B. Goode’ from the legend Chuck Berry). My mama also told me, “Tannu be good, always.” What she didn’t tell me are the idiosyncrasies of a nice boy; one of them being: “Nice guys finish last”. True. Period


All around me are familiar faces
worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Nothing much here. Kind of describes my current days precisely to the fact whether you are dead or alive.

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

Oh my, this is kind of funny. This song is wholly dictating my life these days it seems. It is like the words are literally being transcribed onto my life’s motion picture. The first two lines give away shit loads of information, about series of events currently happening around me, in the most compact manner possible. I’m not onto it a single word; that is not why I wrote this piece of crap. The story makes sense to me from the penultimate line where I perfectly do justice to my role of being a … well, a nice boy. I know proclaiming to be a ‘nice guy’ will require you to render your justification to be one. Well, that is just the paradox we got to live with. Welcome to the cruel world. Ah just noticed, the beginning of my paragraph is exactly same as the commencing line of the next one. Did I mention something about the flow of my life!


And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying 
Are the best I've ever had

Women are only attracted to men who behave like men; you know like rough and tough, survival-of-the-fittest men. She doesn’t care for the guys who won’t ever dare to break her heart or will never ever think of taking advantage of her. For her, you become one-of-us, her souvenir from the opposite sex. She won’t go for the quiet you, oh no, my friend, she wants the loud rash jerks who won’t give her the respect she deserves and will treat her like a, well, bitch. You, being the ‘nice guy’ will never get the boyfriend postage because she only thinks of you as a ‘nice guy’ which you are. You’ll always be her friend, ever climbing on her ladder of friendship for eternity. The lucky ones to survive this limbo will acquire the title of being the ‘backup plan’. The unlucky ones to have survived hardships of this waitlist only see the light of the day to be heartbroken.

I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very, mad world, mad world

It’s pretty hard to play the role of a ‘nice guy’ responsibly after the realization that you are one and that you aren’t going sailing any up in life. The satisfaction you derived earlier from carrying those polite DNA is lost in the egocentric assessment of input and output when you grasp what being a badass gets you. The water crosses the tolerance line of a nice guy when all he gets is “there is a lucky gal waiting just for you somewhere out there” or “you’re like a lovely brother to me” or worse “you’ll be such a great boyfriend for someone else”. As if their “live and let live” rule was not considerate enough, the ‘bad guy’ has to exploit the “nice guys finish last” aphorism for pity benefits which she obliges thinking of herself as the ‘nice girl’.


The whole point of evolution is inequality. Life isn’t fair. The shadow of death, Black Mamba may be the most fatal creature on earth. While it can prey on anything that lies in front of it, its own death, the hawk, lurks over in the skies far beyond its reach. When it comes to keeping casual acquaintances, the ‘nice guy’ will finish first, but when it comes to confidant friends, he will finish last in your list. When it comes to confrontations, the ‘nice guy’ will probably disarm his counterpart by his composure to finish first, but when it will come down to surviving the fight, our chap would be too morally sugarcoated to get physical and may never finish. When it will come to finding love, ‘the nice guy’ will finish last without any questions asked, but when it is time to keep love, you bet he will finish first. Irony? Life isn’t fair.

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

A nice guy is a ‘nice guy’ only because he is shy enough not to ask you out. He is the child who wants to always feel safe, who is intimidated even to approach a beautiful woman. He needs to learn not to be insecure in handling criticism. He needs it to be sung to him that life is not to be taken too seriously and that there is nothing dreadful in putting your own wishes ahead of others. He just needs to be loved.

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

The ‘nice guy’ was always the nice guy. He never had the option to turn into a badass nor could he ever. He was always present there. He always wanted things to be done perfectly without anyone else feeling any burden. Once out in this mad kingdom where one only worships the fake, he greeted everyone with his weak-smile ugly mask. He quietly hummed and went along with you because he thought it was impolite to stop others from taking advantage. He was the only one left wondering at times to how a woman could be turned on by such negative remarks. He had always been the one who spent one full hour begging his wish was also fulfilled after he had spent the previous twenty three being trotted upon. And at the end of the day, he will still be the ‘nice guy’ and continue searching for someone who will understand him. Till then ...

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very, mad world, mad world
Enlarge your world, mad world

(Author’s Note: Spread all over this entry, you went through the lyrics of this song ‘Mad World’ by Tears for Fears and illustriously cover by Gary Jules. This is a no-profit personal blog of a ‘nice guy’. No accusations of plagiarism please! Ya, so back to the point, the original version is your party CD mix song when driving on a fast highway in the afternoon because they say not to mix drinking with driving. It has got these moving beats and funky background sounds. But, the real prize is the cover by a no-star-before-its-release, Gary Jules. You ought to get high up in the sky and deep down in guilt in the same line. A lone boozer’s best man. Nothing can subliminally fuck your mind more than this adaptation.)


PS: Remaining the ‘nice guy’ is not always a nicer thing to do. Turning into an ego-inflated badass can never work for such a guy for it will just make him an insecure jerk. This site can enlighten you more: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml