Reading to all the “Letters To God” by kids all over the world on the web, I was caught up in a pour out of thoughts. Glancing through their desires, fantasies, complaints and requests to the Lord, I thought, “Hey dude! So lucky they are. They get their wishes to be fulfilled by the Lord himself. Can’t I too wish something from the God (if he exists)? I am also just nineteen years old; just about ten years older than these kids who are wishing for good marks in the unit tests or a new computer as a birthday present. Wouldn’t he fulfill my wishes also? Why not? Am I not a human; don’t I have feelings; can’t I wish? Yes, there is nothing wrong about that. So let’s try!” So maybe this is my “Letter To God”. A letter to God by a nineteen year old, imagining he is also a small kid and that God would fulfill his wishes believing him.
Okay, coming straight to the point, I wish … hmm … I wish … umm … I ask for … hmm …??? “Let me think for a while (Actually at the moment, I am thinking only; notice the italics part … yes you seem intelligent … the italics means thinking part only … good there was no need of me to tell you this!).” Maybe I must have been thinking for a long time because when I came to my senses, I found God standing in front of me. Maybe he had listened to my call. Maybe he had come to fulfill my wishes only.
So, here was God standing in my court. Or was it the other way round; had I come to God’s court today? Maybe … maybe not. Whatever it may have been, God asked me, “So, what do wish, O human!” I thought for a little more, “Ya … hmm … this should be perfect!” I cleared my throat and started, “Well I don’t know exactly what to wish because I can’t explain it in words. Words do not convey thoughts very well. As thoughts are expressed, they always become a little diverse immediately as words come out, a little distorted, a little foolish! You are the almighty. You would surely know what is in my heart.” “You seem to be a very intelligent human to me to have worked out on this mystery,” God replied to me and I stood there filling my chest with air of pride! “Still do tell me with your own voice your wish.”
“I wish … I wish I had … umm … I had a heart of glass,” I said summoning all my strength. “I surely made it sound stupid!” God said, “O human, why do you ask for such a strange wish? Why so would you like to exchange your beautiful human heart for a glass one?” “Aah! I knew this question would come. That’s why I was thinking for so long as I am now.”
“Let me make my full wish and then maybe, O Higher Law, you’ll get your answer yourself. I wish I had a heart of glass, so that people, who break it, would also be pricked by the pieces of my heart which belong to them and that they would also suffer and bleed with me! “Isn’t it a nice wish … a tit for tat!”
God sighed and replied after a little judgment, “O human! I thought you were an intelligent species and better gifted than your kin. But I think I have been mistaken. You don’t understand it at all. This is not to hurt others if they accidently hurt you. There are many things that you may never appreciate. Water continuously flows, yet it always remains there only; who can understand it! There are some things that you must always bear. You cannot change the colour of your shadow, whether you go into a monochromatic light or a coloured one! Okay, answer my question. Which is the emotion that you fear the most?”
“How on the earth does it concern with my wish?” Maybe this time, I had thought a little louder because the God seemed to be looking at me with a slight rage. I quickly gathered my wits and thought for the connection. Feelings no better, I searched for the answer within me. “Okay … I think it’s … umm … yes … its love!”
“Again you prove that you are not as wise as I suppose I made you. The answer to every problem lies in its problem only. The answer is fear; it is fear that any human fears the most!”
“O Higher Power, I am no match to you. I have only a humble request that you grant my plea. Please do this for me. I would always keep you in my mind and heart. I will tell the whole world of your good deeds. I will build a temple in your praise.”
“What would be the difference between God and humans, if I too, could be pleased by your elfin offerings and petite pleasing. Why do you have these false expectations from me? And what great offering would you give by keeping me in your heart when your heart would be of glass that you would wish to break every second for people to get hurt. Can you reply, O small human?”
Maybe it had been a magic or maybe the God had given his judgment because I was starting to feel a knot of shame inside my guts. I realized how mistaken I was. I fell down on my knees as I felt my strength and my pride draining out of my legs. I cried, “O Almighty, please forgive me for my blindness. How foolish had I become! I have realized that it was wrong on my part to have such a wish. Please grant me your blessings and let me repent for my mistake.”
Maybe this was all a dream because I do not remember how God looked. Maybe it is just a “Letter To God”. Whatever it maybe … sometimes … you just leave it to God!
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