Feelings are feelings, someplace inside you at first.
Words, tags and judgments get attached to them much later.
Prologue
16.
I mentalated I had fallen in love. Fallen indeed I had, but love was nowhere is sight. On being asked what l mean by love, this is the best I've managed so far. Love is an evasive delusion that on reciprocation dilutes to a shared illusion.
16.
Number of military wives as in the political satire 16 Military Wives by The Decemberists. Their songs are my go-to imaginary universe to give language to my rock-bottom emotions.
16.
Stands for wholeness and is a number of perfect measures. 4x4. 4^2. 2^4.
16.
Number of personality types.
There is a vast sea of well known literature on the psychological classification of individuals. In a layman's term, you can see folks brushing and crashing around every day as either behaving as a certain type or showing certain traits. The curious case of theories is that they are defined to explain things, things are not defined to perform as the theories describe.
As the tests for these theories interpret me, in terms of personality types, I was a ISFJ earlier, presently a INFJ and heading towards either INTJ or ISFP. In traits, I stand at an interesting spot, interesting enough for me, at the start of the bell curves for Extraversion, Neuroticism and Openness but at the end for Conscientiousness and Agreeableness.
In a nutshell, they explicate that I have opposing qualities in strong quantities. I lean to concur to these results in a different fashion. I have a balance in forces of all domains with a sense of deep-rootedness. There is driving capability to cause disruption and an equal capacity for helter-skelter; but all these potentials remain firmly established, static as if frozen by time. Imagine a world where you could visit the Louvre Museum to seek the alive circling form of the Yin and Yang; then the above representation would be a snapshot of this exhibit in your middle school history books.
Yin and Yang
There is a vast sea of well known literature on the psychological classification of individuals. In a layman's term, you can see folks brushing and crashing around every day as either behaving as a certain type or showing certain traits. The curious case of theories is that they are defined to explain things, things are not defined to perform as the theories describe.
As the tests for these theories interpret me, in terms of personality types, I was a ISFJ earlier, presently a INFJ and heading towards either INTJ or ISFP. In traits, I stand at an interesting spot, interesting enough for me, at the start of the bell curves for Extraversion, Neuroticism and Openness but at the end for Conscientiousness and Agreeableness.
In a nutshell, they explicate that I have opposing qualities in strong quantities. I lean to concur to these results in a different fashion. I have a balance in forces of all domains with a sense of deep-rootedness. There is driving capability to cause disruption and an equal capacity for helter-skelter; but all these potentials remain firmly established, static as if frozen by time. Imagine a world where you could visit the Louvre Museum to seek the alive circling form of the Yin and Yang; then the above representation would be a snapshot of this exhibit in your middle school history books.
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| la Confluence of Oceanus and Styx |
Empaths
Who are they?
Creation's highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments to measure emotions in this grand experiment of life. Gifted listeners, natural givers, spiritually deep and big at heart. They are vastly focused, inter-sufficient and expect not to be micromanaged. They, inherently, are incapable of mentalating anything negative; the environment puts those unpleasant dark dents in them.
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| There is always room in openness |
What they say?
To themselves: "I will win!"
To others: "Okay."
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| Actions speak louder than words |
They hate themselves on having so much to say but no words to put them to. While they are muscular in feeling and channeling emotions, they are inexpressive about this commotion process within. For them, writing is a much easier mode to express themselves as it is a different medium of communication altogether. Think of it as not about avoiding face to face deliveries but rather as the use of a different pathway between your brain and sensory organs. They come out as an altogether different individual in “technological socialization”.
What do they do?
They feel everything; intuition is their sensory agency, sometimes blinded by the rational judgement. They fantasize in being the side-character in everyone's own epic tales of the journey called life. They are the wise Gandalf in Bilbo Baggin's brave fable or the caretaking Alfred to Gotham's superhero, Batman.
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| Sometimes the tone is stupider than words |
They dear certain books, people, movies, pictures, quotes and songs with dumbfounding passion especially when they find a piece of them hidden within.
What not to say to them?
They are often misinterpreted as extroverts due to their passion for people. They can be rightly imagined as sublime emotional sponges. While they seek out for brightness, positivity and warmth in others to flourish themselves, they start to drain out of lifeform when the reciprocation cries aloud of conflict, illness and negativity. They bloat when they binge absorb depression, develop an offensive defense mechanism to protect themselves and they loose weight as they regain their serene harmless state.
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| Deep secrets are the real secrets |
They have unexplainable mood swings that they themselves can't predict. While thoughtful, they can be dark and bitingly sarcastic if irked or sent over the edge. Their outbursts are short-lived, usually moments in length; they lock themselves away for long, not afraid of confronting others but shocked on facing themselves. To them, fear is the only emotion to be feared of.
Who do they get along with?
They live behind an eminence front; it's easy for everyone to get along with them because they come out as people pleasers but they don't prefer to get going with anyone.
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| Sometimes they forget they are hiding |
I don’t wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts
They are hopeless romantics. They idealize relationships and love and hold themselves and their partner to an exceptionally high standard. They fall in love easily, grow into love slowly and take a lifetime to grow out of love. Their body makes falling in love a relatively simple prospect, but their brain strongly exerts rational and long term thinking to be able to make this love grow into something profound and more lasting. They believe in lifetime commitments and they extend it to only those who are first their best friends. They long for strong compassionate relations that are high in commitment and intimacy but are themselves weird in the display of passion because of their inability to express.
Forget about your house of card
And I'll do mine
Forget about your house of card
And I'll do mine
They are not easily moved; doubtful and guarded at first, they pick and pluck their close friends wisely. They most often allow only individuals with introverted feeling and extroverted thinking into their inner circle. But when they open up, they are difficult to contain. They are very considerate and provide an equal platform for their friends to grow. They are usually their friends' confidants and are found delicately helping out their close ones in acute emergencies or in running silly errands.
Epilogue
Life is absolute; it does not require consciousness to validate its existence. At least disconnected human conscious is not open enough to read the simplicity of the complex thing that is life; perhaps that is why humans reach out for wholeness. We are not a universal species; we simply place ourselves in the center of our own spheres. Sometimes all it takes is a new pair of eyes to alter your whole world.
Discovery is the stairway to invent life.
Author's Notes
- Individualization is a ongoing reality. We grow into unique individuals based on conditions, experience and behavior modification.
- Lines have been shamelessly lifted from a great listen by my all-time favorite band, House of Card by Radiohead.
